Will he, or should I?
by LPlover93
Summary: When Kate is confronted with a decision she has to make, what will she do? Wait for Castle, or take the first step herself? Caskett and Esplanie. Contains spoilers till 5x23.


Yay.. I finally write in a new fandom! So, I wasn't happy with the ending of today's episode, and my mind was pretty inspired, so yeah.. check it out and let me know what you think! Not betaed, because I was too excited to post it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of its characters.

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Kate had changed a lot since she was nineteen. When she was a teenager, all she wanted to was become a lawyer. Her mom's murder troubled her to the extent that she got into Homicide. Since then, she had matured in many ways, not just seeking revenge, but making pace with her inner demons. She had made really close friends in Javi and Ryan, she got a best friend in Lanie, and a mentor in Roy Montgomery. She preferred to think of him as the man who got her out of all the shelving and into an actual position, as opposed to the man who was partially responsible for the reason she was there in the first place. Castle was the biggest change in her life. He had come into her life as an obnoxious jerk, and still was at times. However, now he was a guy she loved with all her being. If someone had told her back then that she would shack up with the guy who loved talking about alien and apocalypse theories, she would tell that person to go to a psychiatrist. But the few past weeks, she had seriously been considering a change in her relationship status.

When Eric Vaughn had asked for her opinion on her relationship with Castle, she had searched for an answer. Despite all the things they had done in the past few months, they had never seriously spoken about what was going to happen next, where the relationship was going. Although, Lanie would say that they had been in love with each other since the first time they met, but neither had the balls to say them, till one literally was almost dying. She shook her head, not wanting to remember that day. She knew their relationship was serious; it was palpable from the way Castle drew up boundaries every time she spoke to or about a man who was even a bit cute. She was pretty sure he would get her a strait jacket if the guy happened to be hot. But marriage was never something discussed, especially because of Castle's two divorces, even if he was still amiable friends with both of them.

The minute she stepped on the trigger plate for the bomb, she knew that all these thoughts were of no use. There was no way she was going to talk about possible futures with Castle when she was sure that she was going to die at any possible minute. All the reminiscing of their years together would only hurt him more if she really did die. He was a cocky son-of-a-bitch who spoke to her about bondage within five times of them meeting. He would possibly find love again. Maybe thrice wasn't always the charm, and he would get lucky a fourth time.

She begged him to go, not wanting him to die along with her. She was a lost cause, and casualties were a given in her line of work. Rick had the chance to walk away. When he did decide that he would wait with her, she swore if their luck worked out as usual, and she somehow got free of this bomb, she would discuss their relationship with Castle, even if she had to tie him up to do it. Some events led to the scrutinizing of their lifestyle and almost dying was certainly one of those events. It was high time she found out whether Castle and her thoughts matched up with respect to their relationship as it usually did in cases. Unfortunately, when he did decode it with his usual story-telling, they were too elated to have the talk. Captain Gates being aware of them together put a damper on most of their sneaking around, as she would never tell Castle, but it was fun. They had dinner with her Dad, Alexis and Martha. As all of the others made themselves scarce, she and Rick made love slowly, but passionately, and went to sleep in each other's arms. The car bomb case had come up later, and as usual, she had to postpone the talk with her boyfriend.

But Stack's question to her made her realize that she had to decide something and soon. Did she want to wait for as long as possible, till Castle did or said something? Or should she take a step herself and hope that Castle was on the same page?

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Leave a review if you can. I'll try to update asap, though it may be a short story.


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